Stereotype # 9 – Oh, so you’re from India? Right?

Wrong. I am from Pakistan. Indian and Pakistan are two different countries located however, on the same continent. We may all be Asians, yes. But calling Pakistanis, Indians is geographically incorrect! People from both sides of the border look alike in some ways. Most would mistake one from another. However, like India and Pakistan are alike in many ways, they are very different in a lot of other ways too.

Pakistanis would take offense to being called an Indian. The two countries may have been one at one point, but ever since 1947, they have both gone their separate ways. They have separate agendas, contrasting mindsets and completely different residents. The biggest distinguishing factor that may be very confusing for the non-Pakistanis is the language of the natives of both the countries. While both Pakistanis and Indians can tell in a second if it’s Hindi or Urdu that is being spoken, for the non-Pakistanis, both the languages sound exactly the same.

Here a Step-by-Step guide on how foreigners can save themselves from the embarrassment of calling an Indian, a Pakistani and a Pakistani, an Indian:

Step 1: Ask them where they are from instead of guessing.

Step 2: Ask them their favourite food. If you are lucky, a Pakistani would name a meat dish and an Indian, a veg-dish. IF YOU ARE LUCKY, that is. (This step may have a 10 % error ratio)

Step 3: Do not ask them about their state/province/city before you have guessed their nationality. This might confuse you since some places in Indian and Pakistan have the same names. For example: Punjab, Hyderabad.

Step 4: Do not stat a discussion with them on their historical background as a way to cleverly guess their nationality. Both the countries share the same history.

Step 5: Start the conversation by asking them a quick question. Gandhi or Jinnah? Both the natives are very sentimental about their national heroes. An Indian would most certainly say Gandhi, while a Pakistani would say Jinnah. (This step has a 100 % success rate)

Step 6: Do not start a discussion with them on movies. I repeat, do not. Indians would talk about Bollywood. And Pakistanis? Also Bollywood.

Good luck guessing one from the other.

Stereotype – Pakistanis and Indians, one and the same? Status = BUSTED!

Stereotype # 8 - All Pakistani’s Go for Arranged Marriages!

Here’s what the majority of non-Pakistani’s think about Pakistani weddings.

They are loud.
Involve uncountable relatives/guests/acquaintances/possibly anyone who can make it to the wedding.
The weddings are insanely expensive.
The guests are all dolled up.
The food is lavish.
The ceremonies are exhausting.

And lastly,

The bride and groom are seeing each other for the first time EVER.

Not true. Not all Pakistani marriages involve a beaming Rishta aunty gloating with pride over a match made in heaven. Unlike what the world thinks, Pakistanis do have a say in choosing their better half. Many people go through the whole process of getting to know each other before taking the next step and asking for the respective families to get onboard. No doubt that in order for marriages to succeed, or even happen, the prospective bride and groom have to convince the entire family including the extended never-before-seen relatives that marrying the love of their life is a good idea.

This part of the world is more attuned to arranged marriages; taking them as a guaranteed route to a happy, peaceful and successful married life. However, the Pakistani society is accepting of love marriages too. Matches are made in heaven and most elders, even if they disagree to the match, resign and give their consent eventually; calling it a matter of fate!

More and more people in Pakistan are exercising their right of choosing a life partner. While in the past, men were content in letting their mothers choose a bride for them, the trends have shifted. Pakistani men now need wives that they have mental compatibility with. The same goes for Pakistani women who have a much clearer idea in their heads about the traits of the person that they want to marry.

Things are not the same old traditional in the land of the pure ad a changing mindset is challenging the traditional norms that may seem too repressive for some.

Also, people no longer think that a marriage born out of love does not have the same success rate as a purely arranged one. Add to that, is another fact that may have been misunderstood by those exposed to stereotypes about Pakistan; even the Pakistani arranged marriages involve the consent of the bride and groom right from the beginning till the very end.

In conclusion,

Stereotype - All Pakistanis Go for Arranged Marriages. Status = BUSTED!

Stereotype # 3 - Pakistani women are subservient to men

Quite the contrary.

Pakistani women have always been a force to reckon with. They have dominated the music industry, film industry, political circles and the corporate arena. They have ventured into predominantly male professions like the Armed forces and are more recently, also signing up for odd jobs like Rickshaw driving!

Those who are privileged enough to be studying in good schools and universities are ambitious and are curious about what the future holds besides two sets of children and a husband.

The status of women in Pakistan is not just that of a subservient wife/sister or mother. Each and every woman in Pakistan has an identity of her own. Whether she spends her afternoon proposing a marketing plan or buying the latest lawn outfit.

Pakistani women are colourful, loud, cheery, well-groomed, bossy and even a little obnoxious at times.
They have learnt to stand up for each other. They have self-taught each other the art of defending themselves and the people they call their own.

Pakistani women are super moms, battling nagging relatives and handling bratty children at pretty much the same time.

Pakistani women are smart and they are sporty.

They are independent and self-reliant and can do PhD's, laundry's and diaper changing.

In short, they pretty much rock.

Stereotype - Pakistani women are subservient to men. Status = BUSTED!

PS: Make your own sandwich. :P

Two Sides to a Coin

Every truth has two sides; it is as well to look at both, before we commit ourselves to either.